Q: My wife is a nag. What should I say to help her understand how this makes me feel?
A: Go to God first and ask him to reveal what is really going on in your wife’s heart. Where is the frustration coming from? Second, ask God to show you if you really are being passive or lazy or uncaring in some area. Be honest. You may need to take some initiative in order to help pull your weight in the household. Or maybe it’s as simple as some kind of reminder so that you’re not constantly forgetting the day that you need to take out the garbage or whatever.
The worst possible thing you can do is to ignore her or become critical. Chances are, she really doesn’t want to nag you. It’s just that whatever she’s nagging about is important to her and she doesn’t know any other way to get that across to you because you’re obviously not responding.
The next time you feel nagged, take a moment to talk to your wife about what’s going on. Why is this so important to her? Why aren’t you responding? Somewhere there’s a disconnect. Then listen to what she has to say. Don’t make excuses, don’t roll your eyes, don’t half listen to the game on TV. Listen to her. Then together figure out what you both can do to solve the problem.
*For more practical marriage advice, check out The Great Marriage Q&A Book. It's available in our online bookstore!