If you and your spouse have different priorities about our money - how can you come to an agreement?
We’ve had people ask us who are concerned about their different priorities. Sometimes the husband feels strongly about giving generously to others while the wife is fearful that there won’t be enough money for the family’s needs. Or maybe priorities about paying off debt are in conflict. Maybe she isn’t worried about trying to pay off the house while it’s a high priority for him.
If you are in that kind of push and pull with your spouse, you need to seek to understand what is behind your spouse’s opinion. Maybe she never had enough money growing up, so she’s worried about giving too much away. You need to serve each other. You need to work out a compromise, if even for a season or two. Perhaps if the husband wants to be very generous in giving money to the church, he should be careful for the sake of his wife—and focus on giving in other ways. Perhaps instead of giving of his money, he can give of time or talent. By doing that, he’s saying, “I love my wife so much that I’m going to take this issue of the table and I’m not going to tackle it this way. I’m going to pray for her. I’m going to love her.”
One way to move toward agreement on priorities is to talk about your goals. Perhaps you want to save for a home. Or maybe you want to take that dream vacation. If you can agree on a goal, then you can discuss what it will take to get there. At that point, you can then come to more agreement on your priorities with regard to the money that comes into your home.
*For more practical marriage advice, check out The Great Marriage Q&A Book. It's available in our online bookstore!