Compromising Differences in Marriage


Q: I'm an extrovert and want to have people over; my spouse is an introvert who prefers a quiet evening at home with a book. How can we compromise?

A: Often we find in counseling that, although opposites attract, usually the more similarities between the spouses, the stronger the marriage. When it comes to a marriage such as yours, made up of an extrovert and introvert, you can fill the gaps in each other's personalities and make your marriage exciting – as long as you understand each other. It can be good for the introvert to get out more; it can be good for the extrovert to have some downtime. But it also helps to understand that under pressure (which every marriage faces), an extrovert can become sharp tongued and an introvert can become isolated.

Couples need to honor their differences. Don't try to change your spouse, because he or she was created uniquely by God’s design. Validate each other, honor each other, and encourage each other to grow. As you do that, you can counter some of your spouse’s weaknesses with your strengths, and vice versa. Let this potential hotspot be the recipe for fun as you learn new things!

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! ~Psalm 139:13-14