I Don't Like My Spouse's Friends


Q: We don't like each other's friends. What should we do?

A: You both need to handle this with a tremendous amount of honor and respect and grace. You don't want to be overly critical or judgmental about another person. What is the reason you don't like certain of your spouse’s friends? Perhaps it's just a personality clash. If so, then back off and let your spouse enjoy them. You don't need to be involved. Let your spouse know about your feelings, and then he or she can leave you out of the picture when they are together.

However, perhaps you don't like a certain friend because you feel that your spouse’s relationship with that person is flirtatious and they ultimately hurt your marriage. You need to delicately express your concerns to your spouse, and your spouse needs to hear and validate those concerns. Then trust each other. Work it out.

The bottom line is that you need to validate your spouse’s friendships – you both need to spend time with your same-sex friends. Communicate, set good boundaries, and be willing to be flexible.

This post is an excerpt from our book, The Great Marriage Q&A Book.