How Important is it for Us to Build and Maintain Friendships with Other Couples?

Having friendships with other couples is very important. We tell people three things at the end of pre-marriage counseling:

  1. Guard your heart.
  2. Always exercise forgiveness.
  3. Connect to other like-minded couples who love each other and with whom you can go through life.

A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need. Proverbs 17:17


In our parents’ time, couples may have been lifetime friends because people didn’t move around as much. You may move every few years, so it will take a bit of extra work to connect with other couples at each new location. You can do it, however, by connecting to a church and its small groups, through friendships in your neighborhood, or with the parents of your children’s friends. These need to be like-minded couples – believers who can be there for you in the tough times and who understand the focus of your life in Jesus. The only caveat is that you must be alert to guard your heart in those close relationships.

The friendships you form with other couples can add incredible richness and meaning to your life. We just read a story recently about a man who fell off a ladder. He was paralyzed from the fall, but he’s hoping to be able to walk again one day. For the three months following the accident, not a day went by that other people didn’t show up to comfort him, encourage him, transport him, or do some other necessary chore. He knew many of the people from his church small group. These kinds of friendships are priceless. That is the body of Christ, and we are called to coach, encourage, and equip one another. We have created a seven-part DVD series entitled “6 Secrets to a Lasting Love.” This is an excellent series for a small group you could host in your home or for Sunday school, evening classes at church, or even retreats. There are handbooks to guide you in facilitating one-hour or two-hour small group meetings. This is just one way to get some couples together to connect and learn from the Word together. However you choose to forge friendships as a couple, remember that it takes initiative and then time to let relationships develop. Don’t give up in the process—God wants you to be connected to other people that will invite you into their lives and help you grow and thrive.