Getting Cozy With Coffee

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Go to a coffeehouse or a café. Choose a place where you’re not likely to run into anyone you know (interruptions aren’t allowed). You can go for dinner, a couple of big cups of specialty coffee, or a dessert. Splurge a little. Don’t think about calories or how much that big cup of cappuccino is costing—just do it! Sit so that you can look at each other while you talk. Hold hands. This kind of setting is made for conversation, so use the time to go through the questions together.

Prep Steps

  • Get the date on the calendar.
  • Schedule a babysitter, if needed.
  • Decide on a location that will be cozy yet conducive to conversation. Make reservations if you think it’s necessary.

Answer these questions together on your date:

  • Are we making time to connect with each other daily? How can we improve that?
  • What was your day like today? What are the stresses you have been feeling in the past few months?
  • What burdens (emotional, spiritual, financial) do we have now that we didn’t have ten years ago? Five years ago? Last year? How can we adjust them together?
  • Am I a safe haven for you? In what ways can I make you feel safer sharing your thoughts with me?
  • What three things do I do for you that really make you feel like the man of my dreams? What would you like me to do?