Q: We are divorced, but neither of us has remarried. Is it possible to remarry each other and start over again?
A: Definitely! Sometimes a couple will go through the pain of betrayal, disconnect, choose to give up and decide to divorce. Then they get on the other side of the divorce and realize that there’s heartache there, too. They deal with single parenting issues and financial stresses. They watch their children suffer.
Broken and contrite hearts are the best places for God to begin his work in people’s lives. These divorced people begin to open up their hearts to God. Many times it’s a matter of being matured through the trials. Sometimes a very difficult and painful situation shakes people up and makes them look seriously at their lives, their baggage, their attitudes, their actions.
Part of a Psalm written by King David describes the hope we can have because of the Lord’s forgiveness:
“Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!” Psalm 32:1-2
If you’re in this place, we encourage you to keep growing and keep seeking God. Perhaps he wants to bring you back together if your former spouse is doing some of the same kinds of growing and maturing. We’ve seen couples do this—of course after much counseling to help them deal with the issues that caused the divorce in the first place. Yes, you can remarry, knowing that you both are much healthier than you were before. You can build on a new foundation. Some of these marriages are the strongest marriages with the greatest testimonies that you could ever see. You can have a great marriage.
David ends Psalm 32 with the promise of God’s guidance:
“The Lord says, ‘I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.’ Many sorrows come to the wicked, but unfailing love surrounds those who trust in the Lord. So rejoice in the Lord and be glad, all you who obey him! Shout for joy, all you whose hearts are pure!” Psalm 32:8-11
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